After divorce, the last thing you want to do is work together with your co-parent. However, you have likely heard that cooperative co-parenting is often touted as one of the best ways to raise a child after a split.
Is there anything you can do to raise your child cooperatively while also limiting your time with your co-parent, at least until you have the space you need to recover somewhat from the divorce? Fortunately for you, the answer is yes.
The importance of time apart
Psychology Today discusses parallel parenting. This form of co-parenting allows you and your co-parent to spend some much needed time apart while also still holding equal involvement in your child’s life. It does this by limiting the ways in which you can communicate with and contact each other.
If you opt for this, your parenting plan will typically require written communication only, such as emails, texts, or a dedicated co-parenting app. Many family courts now encourage or require platforms like OurFamilyWizard or AppClose because they create a timestamped record of every exchange, which can reduce misunderstandings and serve as documentation if a dispute returns to court. Some parents also keep a shared notebook with important updates about the child that travels between households during visitation exchanges.
You will sometimes still see one another when you pick up or drop off your child at one another’s home or another designated pick-up or drop-off site. However, these interactions will be fleeting and will not include communication.
What is the end goal?
Eventually, the goal of parallel parenting is to move you toward more cooperative and interactive forms of co-parenting. A judge will determine this by reviewing your situation periodically and determining how well things have proceeded so far. Each family will graduate from parallel parenting at different rates, though, so it is difficult to estimate what your timeline may look like.
